Exercise - "No Pain = No Gain"?

I've heard it said that when exercising that "No pain = no gain." If that's true, I should be gaining a lot since exercise, for me, is mostly painful.

I've also heard it said that pain is the body's way of telling you that something is wrong and to do something about it.

I believe that you should not feel pain while exercising, but discomfort (muscle tiredness / soreness, etc.) is acceptable.

So that brings me to what is causing me some concern and is making it difficult for me to exercise like I should:

It hurts when I exercise. Specifically, my chest hurts and sometimes the pain and a numb feeling travels down my left arm. It feels like something is wrong with my heart, but I can't get any answers from the medical folks. I've talked to my MD several times and the only thing they've done is a stress test (hook up a heart monitor thing, take pictures of the heart before and after walking on the treadmill). I've done that dumb test twice in the last 3 years with no problems found. My heart must be really healthy. Actually, one of the problems, I think, is that the so-called exercise (walking on a treadmill) is for a very short time and doesn't really begin to stress me. It's too easy. Sigh ... So, bottom line is that they have found nothing wrong. Yet, I continue to hurt. It hurts doing almost any exercise. I walk around the block = pain.  I ride my bike = pain. I walk with Chloe = pain. The funny thing is that sometimes, after a while, the pain goes away and sometimes, it just gets worse. Most of the time, it builds to a certain level and just stays there until I stop. The other interesting thing is that it always stops hurting when I stop moving. Sometimes it takes a minute or so and sometimes it stops hurting almost immediately. I have noticed that it sometimes stops hurting when I'm riding my bike after about 6-8 miles, but not always. Maybe I just get used to the pain and no longer notice it, but I've tried to monitor that consciously and it doesn't seem that way. I have no idea why and can't see any pattern. The worst pain I've experienced was when I walked up to the bus stop (from my house to 7200 W on 3500 S). It was bad enough that I had to stop a couple of times and let it simmer down before I could continue. I couldn't breathe very well. Still, when I stopped, it stopped.  It may not be my heart although it certainly feels like it is. The pain is centered at the left side of my upper chest and as I mentioned, it often radiates down my left arm. 

So, what are my options?

• Quit exercising
• Keep exercising

I choose to keep exercising and see what happens. I figure if I'm not meant to die now I won't. If I am, then so be it. I'm going to ride my bike; I'm going to go hiking; and I'm going to go walking.  OK, so I won't do a 5K or a marathon.  See, I can compromise.  :)

The worst thing is that it is mentally taxing. It bothers me that it hurts and takes away from doing better and more because no matter what attitude I take externally, I do worry about the pain and wonder if I should stop when it hurts. That's the #1 reason that I don't exercise - worry about the pain.  Said, but true. Still, I do get going some days and I hope that's good enough.

End of an Experiment

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been experimenting with not taking my bp meds because I was experiencing some severe side effects. Initially, I did feel better, but after a couple of weeks I noticed that the most severe issue I was worried about (chest pain) happened even while not taking the meds.

So, I'm back taking them and my bp has dropped back to its semi-high, but much lower than without meds, normal. I'm back to around 135/89 range instead of the 155/115 range without the meds. Sigh ....

It's still very annoying with the dry mouth, colder hands and feet and constant exhaustion, but maybe I can get the doctor to change it up and try something else.

I still have a huge problem with eating too much (depression related snacking) and exercising too little (laziness, tiredness and fear of the chest pains). I've gained almost all of my old weight back and I feel crummy. I keep trying to motivate myself and get back to daily exercise, but can't seem to get it going. Between being so tired I can hardly function and the exercise induced chest pains I can't get moving. Much of the time I don't even care on several levels, but at my inner most level I really want to work to be healthy - it's just too hard -- too sad, too tired, too depressed. You might say I have a case of the terrible toos! :)

Some days I even wonder if I hang on to the depression so I can tell myself it's not my fault. If I could just let it go (unintentional Frozen reference...) I could feel happy again. Sadly, I can't find it within me to shake it off. It.just.won't.go.away!

At least I'm functioning at a level that lets me keep my job. Anything other than that is so difficult. Right now, it's the thoughts and love of my children and grand children that are keeping me from giving up, but I sometimes wander so close to the edge of despair that I'm afraid for myself. So far, I've been able to keep back from the cliff edge. It feels like I can't hold on any longer, then somehow I find just enough strength to hold it off for a few moments and back away from that dark edge of despair that I don't believe I can battle.

I can no longer remember a time when I wasn't just hanging on for dear life. It seems like forever since I've felt happy - I'm not sure I even understand joy right now. I'm just trying to stay around and give the very little that I can to my grand children. They deserve so much more from their grandpa than I can give them. It's that thought that both gives me strength to keep trying and fills my heart with a deep heaviness from not giving them what I so much desire to - to give my time and what little wisdom I've gathered - to play with them, teach them, show them the things I love, but most of all to spend time with them. And I can't even do that, most days.

I cherish every moment I can spend with them and anguish at the thought that I'm not doing nearly enough or spending nearly enough time with them. Yet, I am still here, still trying.